December 2010

Saving the Fish from Drowning by Linda Boyd

A pious man explained to his followers: “It is evil to take lives and noble to save them. Each day I pledge to save hundreds of lives. I drop my net in the lake and scoop out a hundred fishes. I place the fishes on the bank, where they flop and twirl. ‘Don’t be scared,’ I tell those fishes. ‘I am saving you from drowning.’ Soon enough, the fishes grow calm and lie still. Yet, sad to say, I am always too late. The fishes expire. And because it is evil to waste anything, I take those dead fishes to market and I sell them for a good price. With the money I receive, I buy more nets so I can save more fishes.” Anonymous

I love anything written by Amy Tan for many reasons; one is that it makes me think and vacillate about her intended meaning. Another is because there are philosophical points that apply to other aspects of life worth contemplating and from which I can learn. This is especially true after reading the anonymous quote, which gave Tan her clever title. This particular book did not receive as much acclaim as “The Joy Luck Club” or her other works. Yet, in my opinion, it was just as good, if very different, from her usual style. Of course, a literal interpretation of the title leads to an obvious oxymoron. Or does it?

Her tongue-in cheek title is literally true when you consider the game of video poker, though very different from Tan’s meaning. You can, in fact, actually save some fish (uninformed players) from drowning with just a little education. That’s actually a good thing all around. After all, these same gullible players must keep returning for more action to keep the wheels of the casino industry turning. The trouble is some “fish” are clueless and choose to remain so, in the same way some travelers would just as soon be ignorant of customs in countries they visit.

I guess you can’t save people who are satisfied with their lack of knowledge and choose to remain uninformed. (In the case of Tan’s travelers down the Burma Road, they could have studied the customs of Burma/Myanmar before going to a land with a military government and a good possibility of danger for the uninformed; they chose not to.)

For those players who value their money and want the best odds of avoiding an early demise of their bankrolls you will want to take the time and make the effort to become an informed player.

Fish: Some consider anybody who enters the doors of a casino in order to make wagers with their hard-earned money a veritable fish (sucker) destined to be reeled in by tricky games all in favor of the house. Since the casino is in charge of making the rules and nobody doubts that they need an edge to stay in business, this thinking makes a lot of sense. That is if you are not taking into consideration that it’s a form of entertainment and you pay for most entertainment. However, nowadays some of the options available have far better odds than others. This is especially true if you can know the theoretical return, assuming correct play, before the net is tossed in the water.

Of course if the game is housed in a device where the number of symbols is unknown and they don’t have an equal chance of being selected, you can never know the expected return for sure. If, however, you are playing a video poker device in a state that requires a random number generator (RNG), then you can, and should, know the expected return (ER) before deciding whether or not to play. But the ER is not the whole story in today’s casinos as far as selecting good plays. That’s because you’ll need to sort out all the other variables as well. I’m referring to comps, promotions, and an environment consistent with your idea of a good time.

Sure, you may still want to throw caution to the wind and play a long-shot, but at least you’ll be diving in with your eyes open and have made a conscious decision to accept the consequences. Philosophically speaking, I feel somewhat justified in getting upset with players who make it hard for everybody by making foolish decisions. Casinos won’t have decent games on their floor if patrons are oblivious to the difference.

I feel the same way about other games with a skill component. If people are willing to play at 6/5 blackjack tables, pay exorbitant poker rakes and not note the difference between roulette wheels with a single versus a double zero on the wheel, then why should the casinos offer a fair shake?

Oblivious Players: I have complained loudly on many occasions that people playing video poker games like coyote ugly deuces (deuces wild games with extremely poor paytables) or 7/5 Jacks or Better (7/5JOB) make it bad for all gamblers. If nobody sat and deposited money at these foolish-bet devices, management would get the message and upgrade the pay schedules. Still, I see many people, especially tourists in Nevada, plopping at the nearest video poker machine. They don’t even glance at the paytables.

Ironically, these are the very people casinos should want to “save” for many return trips. If they’re not even skimming pay schedules, you can be sure they’ve never practiced on tutorial software. (The best, in my opinion is WinPoker, by Dean Zamzow, www.videopokerpractice.com.)

These uninformed players may be fish out of water, but they’ll likely play elsewhere before quickly drowning on their next visit. Expect the same people to be the first to accuse the casino of rigging the machines so it’s impossible to win. They may have the wrong reason for their rapid loss of bankroll, but their conclusions will be correct.

Determined to Play: Some people are determined to play whatever is available once they get to a casino, even if their choices give a huge advantage to the house. To management that may seem like a good reason to offer all bad pay schedules and to order low-return chips for their slot machines. I’ve noticed the devices with the biggest house edge for both slots and video poker remain vacant, even during peak playing times. It tells me that even those who know nothing about video poker or slots don’t want to get burnt on future visits. If there’s nothing worth playing, you may see a big crowd during promotions, but you’ll still find many unoccupied machines.

And what about those who are determined to play under any conditions? You’ll find these desirable players (from the casino’s point of view) playing elsewhere in the future. That’s because even under the constraints of the current economy, entrepreneurs are managing to build more casinos. Most will choose another casino the next time instead of settling for one that doesn’t offer much playing time for their entertainment budget.

Buyer’s Remorse: One of the best ways to advertise in any business is word-of-mouth. That’s why businesses, like Trader Joe’s, can get away without electronic ads (they do have print advertisements and flyers). Their product is so good and fairly priced that word-of-mouth is all that’s needed. On the other hand, if people leave a casino with only the lint in their pockets after a short playing session, they’ll be sure to let others know that the casino “tightened the machines.”

Drowning: We’ve all heard tales of gamblers that were set on self-destruction. An example is Stuey Unger, a brilliant gin and poker player whose story is chronicled in the book, “One of a Kind.” He’s a fascinating but tragic character that was bent on making decisions leading to a sad and short life. Lots of gamblers seem to be their own worst enemy with quirky habits that cause them to lose their winnings.

Strange when you consider the brilliance of many who work and think so hard to come out ahead and then blow all their cash with a dumb bet on their way out the door. Definitely nobody can save some out-of-control gamblers from their own impulsive actions.

Of course, once the “fish” drowns they’re no good to anybody, and that includes the casino. That’s partially why the house provides luxurious quarters and comped meals to their high rollers. Even low rollers get lots of comps to soften the blow.

Saving Fish: I find some of the copycat tactics used by management teams even before they have been tested to be quite surprising. Instead of waiting to see how well things go with the latest suggestion by the latest consultant, some casino decision-makers jump right in without a lifeboat.

That’s what happened in the case of some ideas that seemed to pull a fast one on customers and earn some extra cash for the casinos. However, in the long run they were very bad for the casino business, which happens to be different from the restaurant and hotel businesses. In fact, some of the bright ideas used by casino corporations would never pass the common sense test for non-gaming entities.

An example, described below, is adding on undisclosed resort fees. Short-term you may have extra money coming in, but with blogs, news travels fast that this is a rip-off and some competitors will make a big point of disclosing that they don’t charge these sneaky fees.

Resort Fees: Dewey is an excellent contributor to my video poker forum (Boyd’s Eye View, free to join, www.midwestgamingandtravel.com) and one of the first to write about resort fees. In fact we have a link listing the resort fees of most Nevada casinos along with those like Harrah’s and Hard Rock Café that don’t charge the fees.

I actually called a well-known Strip property using a toll-free number from their ad and asked about the fee. Turns out the online ad has huge letters advertising $39 rooms and no mention whatsoever, even in small print, of the per night additional resort fee. That fee is $12.95 and includes a 2-for-1 breakfast buffet, thrill ride, nightclub entry and cocktail. Although those added items are easily found at no charge in Las Vegas, some less frequent visitors might not know that. In truth, the so-called extras they’re supplying are of no value to the vast majority of customers. The people booking from this ad aren’t regular gamblers who have comped rooms and know the ropes. Why would casinos want to trick touristy novices who will usually play any game without looking at specific rules or pay schedules? Aren’t these the people you want to party and drop a few hundred bucks nightly on the casino floor? If they do so and return home to an unexpected 33% extra resort fee, most of these fish won’t return.

Server-Based Games: The jury is still out on this technology. Mostly newer casinos have the ability to change games and pay schedules from a remote location off the casino floor. You’ll see more of this capability in newer casinos like Aria (CityCenter, Las Vegas) because they don’t have to rip up the existing carpet to wire for server-based games.
Server-based ability can be a good thing for players since they’ll have the convenience of being individually rewarded for play right from their machine, instead of having to go to a casino kiosk. Also, they can be offered their favorite games, comps and much more without leaving the device. On the other hand, it remains to be seen how this new capability will be used by casino management.

If casinos, for example, use it to present horrible video poker pay schedules during peak playing times, then word will travel and even the newbies (new players) will get wind of it.

Guaranteed Play: Apparently this format for video poker games is making a minor comeback at a few Vegas casinos. The first time around it was badly received because it was such a major rip-off. You were guaranteed to play a certain number of hands, say 200, for a given wager, say $20 on a quarter machine. The rub is you were also guaranteed, or almost guaranteed, that you would lose the $20. (Refer to the video poker archives at www.midwestgamingandtravel.com for the details on this disappearing video poker choice.) They didn’t save the fish from drowning when they made an extremely bad game appear to be a good deal for players. This poorly thought out logic was based on the incorrect assumption that players could be taken at their word when they claimed that they didn’t care if they won, but they want a chance to play. Patrons didn’t mean they wanted almost zero chance of winning but wanted to be “guaranteed” the joy of playing a certain number of hands, mostly their score was in the minuses. If that’s what people really wanted then they could save the $20 and play absolutely free of charge on their home tutorial software.

Spread the Wealth: Nowadays players are wise to spread the word when they see something good going on at a casino. I understand that others may disagree with my perspective fearing that they won’t be able to find a seat at a machine or table with good odds for players. But I factor into the equation the possibility of losing a good play due to the casino not getting enough volume and thus, profits. So I’m suggesting both moderation and common sense. If there’s a rare and generous play that only a few are aware of, then by all means keep it too yourself. On the other hand, if the casino and everybody else should know about it, huge signs with the ER over the bank of machines, for example, then spread the word.

Plays to Share: Not too long ago a really smart and well-informed player and friend asked that I not divulge some little-known plays and other information she had uncovered on a recent trip to Vegas. Her reasoning is that some people keep the best plays to themselves while searching internet forums for special player-advantage situations. In addition, if a great wager initially falls through the cracks and later management finds out, it will disappear. (I have a good example of this situation in the next section.)

So what’s good to share with others? The fair games that give a slight edge to the casino, but a good return to players as well. There are many examples of this in video poker. Examples are 8/5 Bonus Poker (ER 99.1660%), 9/6 Jacks or Better (99.5439%) and Not-So-Ugly Deuces (99.7283%). You may wonder why these are good for the casino since they’re close to even money games. The reason is that you only get the theoretical ER with computer-perfect play and that’s a rarity for the average Joe. In fact the overall actual ER is several percentage points lower due to the inability of most to play accurately.

How about the pros or so-called advantage recreational players? I’ve surreptitiously watched, and they too make errors, especially with penalty card and condition of the remaining deck hands. Casinos will make less off good players, but nonetheless they’ll be a little ahead over time.

Insiders Only: As my friend wisely pointed out, there are some plays that really should remain unadvertised by players. I once exposed an exceptional One-Eyed Jacks play (ER 101.3% plus full comps, bounceback and slot cash) and I received a barrage of hate mail. They were right to be angry with me, too; shortly after my post on a forum, management reduced the number of machines from eight to three, placed a sign indicating they were not eligible for points or promotions and now they are completely gone.

If the play is not well-known and obviously a glitch by casino staff, then keep it to yourself to protect its longevity.

Final Thoughts:
I’m a former high school math teacher/curriculum developer, so I view it as my mission to save people from their own folly through education. It just kills me to see anybody play a 7/5 Jacks or Better game (ER 96.1472%, with computer-perfect play), for example. In addition to the teacher in me, is the self-interest component; namely, that if people refused to put money into devices with horrible returns then casinos would remove them from the casino floor. After all, any percent of nothing is still zero.

In reality, though, you can’t always save people from themselves. If somebody is self-destructive or simply doesn’t believe in statistics, then you have to cut your losses and hope the majority of players will understand a fair from an unreasonable casino advantage.

Smart management teams understand that there’s lots of competition in the big sea for players and don’t want to kill the fish. There’s a lot of thought and differences as to the best way to make money for the house without making their patrons, especially high rollers, feel like a fish and never come back. It’s not just the thrill of making a big splash with pockets full of the casino’s cash that keeps them coming back for more. It’s also the bragging rights when they win lots of money, especially if it’s either a long shot (“I hit $1,000 on a penny machine”) or a game involving skill (final table at WSOP events, for example). Management teams should understand that if they kill all the fish in the sea then they may have to permanently close their doors.