Ink By The Barrel by Linda Boyd

Not too long ago I was relaying a rather annoying casino incident to a friend. In fact, I said I was going to write about it on my video poker site (Boyd’s Eye View, www.midwestgamingandtravel.com, follow the prompts for free membership) to see what others thought. My thinking is that the casino business is definitely a buyer’s market. So that’s why I’m surprised when staff acts huffy with any customer, especially over a minor issue. My friend’s comment was, “it’s not too smart to get into it with someone who buys ink by the barrel.” I started thinking about the power of the pen on businesses in general, then later, on the gaming industry in particular.

Most people would agree that you have to consider the source before placing a value on any information. The reality, however, is quite different from the dictates of common sense. How else can you explain the importance politicians place on raising campaign funds? They know voters realize it’s a paid for announcement and certainly biased. The reason is the same one that causes marketing departments to spend plenty on ads — it works. In fact, I have one in this magazine for my book, “The Video Poker Edge,” and other authors do as well.

While it’s true that casinos and experts disperse lots of ink in the public forum, players must sort the potential money-makers from the hype for themselves. Often, just like with political mailers, you must consider the source and read the fine print. The alternative is to ignore all information from and about the gaming business, a huge mistake, even if you’re an infrequent gambler.

The Source: When I was a kid and somebody made or repeated negative remarks about me I said “well I’ll consider the source.” Given the triteness of the statement, it’s easy to gloss over the meaning, but it’s absolutely good advice. I’m sure we’ve all visited casinos with big banners proclaiming their establishment was “Voted the Best Casino in Vegas.” Probably a true statement, but that could have been 20 years ago. My point is, Mohamed Ali declarations like, “I’m the greatest,” (I think he was) have to be carefully examined. Outside sources may or may not be accurate either. You have to consider whether the author, for example, is a blackjack expert writing about hold’em. Guess that’s one reason why I chose mathematics as my field — you’re either correct or incorrect when dealing with both numbers and accurate video poker holds. There’s something about certainty that I find very reassuring.

Casino Ink: This comes in many colors and you should evaluate each offer with an open mind. Remember their objective is to get you through their doors as often as possible. Management teams are constantly looking for the magic line of profitability. That means making the max off each patron and at the same time offering incentives for return visits. The result of this mindset is a mixture of truly good offers along with some that are worthless. As I said earlier, math is a sure thing; so if they say they have a specific game, like 9/6 Jacks or Better (9/6 JOB) you can be sure it’s true and worth the trip.

Mailers: Once you sign up for a player’s card you’ll start to receive lots of offers in the mail. I always tell players to read everything they send, after all examining marketing’s latest incentives is free and often fun. Be aware that many casinos have differentiated mailing lists; locals in Vegas may get more offers for multiple points and fewer for room comps.

Worthless “Deals”: Recently I got something from a casino in Perryville, Maryland that turned out to be deceptive. Big letters on a coupon stated “$250 Slotplay Bonus.” I yelled, “I’m there!” My friend said something was fishy. After reading all the miniscule print I learned that it was a bonus only after you won a jackpot of $,1200 or more. This casino has extremely ugly video poker choices, 7/5 JOB, for example; however, at least you know the exact ER (expected return) with video poker. This particular coupon, yes, it required a coupon, specified that both video poker and electronic table games were not valid. Never mind that it also had to be used on Friday, June 10 or Friday, June 24; this was a bad promo. Anytime qualifying for a bonus is less likely than Middle East peace, you shouldn’t go out of your way for it. Some people say they are embarrassed when they think they won something only to find out they haven’t met all requirements. Personally, I’m not going to blush from my mistakes, but I do experience self-anger when I get bamboozled. Is pulling a fast one even good for the casino? Not at all if one of their objectives is to get return visits from their customer base.

Of course there are lots of other ways casinos use bait and switch tactics to get crowds through their doors. Any free gift can be made to seem desirable until you wait in line and notice everybody is walking away with the same plastic mug or t-shirt emblazoned with the casino’s name. You can be sure it’s a cheap trinket when all levels of players are treated equally. You may think that’s the democratic way but if you consider the worth of higher rollers to the casino, then it’s indeed bad business.

Free Play: Sometimes you’ll get valuable offers in the mail that provide you with good reasons to make the trip. Free play is an excellent one. Be aware that free play can mean downloading credits onto your machine or actual cash. (Some casinos just hand you the money.)

If the casino gives you the free play in the form of credits you will have to run the amount awarded through the device at least once. For example, if you’re given $25 worth of free play you can’t convert your credits into cash until you play a minimum of $25 through the machine. Still, it’s a good deal and worth visiting the casino.

If the house excludes certain machines, say all video poker devices or just full pay games (those with the highest ER for a particular choice, like 9/6 JOB), then it’s not as valuable, but still worth using. Just make sure you read all of the ink when you receive the offer so you’re not disappointed.

Comps: You may think this area is crystal clear, but that’s not always true. If you’re offered a free room, for example, check the small print to see if there are “resort fees”; these can amount to more than you want to pay for services you won’t use. Also, when you call to make a reservation you may be told the rooms in the offer are gone but there are others available at the regular or casino rate. (People on my forum have reported that this has happened even when they call as soon as they receive the offer.) Sometimes there’s a catch for food comps and show tickets as well. Tickets may be unavailable or buffets undesirable. It’s a good idea to call the casino and ask questions if you are going specifically to take advantage of comp offers.

New Games: Whether it’s a table game, video poker or slots I always pay close attention when a casino is announcing something new. One of my favorite things to read on a mailer is that a casino is putting video poker games with ER’s over 100% on their floor. This is ink you can believe in; a casino will never advertise positive video poker games, for example, and then not have any.

Promos: Frequently you’ll be notified of drawings or slot tournaments through the mail. If it’s a promotional event then you must look at each on a case-by-case basis. I am not a fan of needing to earn a certain amount of points for a “gift” unless it’s a present I covet. For me, that means gift certificates for gas or for a place where I shop and not a Christmas turkey. I caution you about busting the bank with frequent trips to the ATM for the flannel PJ’s on display. You must pre-determine the stop loss amount before playing for a guaranteed prize.

When it comes to drawings, you should consider your potential equity in the event as well as whether your game of choice earns entry tickets. I favor promotions that award virtual tickets (filling in hundreds of forms is passé and too time-consuming) and the number of entries is based on your play. Sometimes full pay video poker games are not included, so be sure to ask if you aren’t certain. If you know there are no exclusions, then play games with lower variances, like JOB instead of DDB (Double Double Bonus) because you’ll play longer on your given bankroll and thus earn more entries. (I am assuming the versions of each game have similar ER’s.) Also, I choose promos that offer several medium but good prizes over those that offer only a few large awards. For example, I’d rather participate in a drawing for twenty $1,000 cash prizes instead of one new car.

So when you receive a mailer announcing a promotional event read it carefully and then feel free to call the casino with questions.

Ads/Billboards: One of the funniest billboards I ever saw advertised 6/5 Blackjack! This game is, of course, a total rip-off and should only be played by folks who are mad at their money. In other words, if you bet $5 and get a blackjack you receive $6 back instead of $7.50 for the same bet in the regular game. (Typically you are paid 3/2 or one and a half times your wager for a blackjack.) Why would they even waste the ink on such a billboard? PT Barnum said it best, “There’s a sucker born every minute.” So just because a casino is putting up a big billboard and using jumbo letters doesn’t mean it’s a good deal for players. If you’re into buffets and they advertise buy one get one free, then by all means check it out. I suggest that you have a look at the food before you sign up for a Circus Circus-type feeding. (If you haven’t eaten there, I can tell you lots of jokes are still circulating about their 99¢ buffet.) Sometimes it’s difficult to read the fine print while you’re driving, but it’s still good to keep your eyes peeled for special deals as you near casino towns.

As for print media advertisements, there are a host of good offers, often requiring a coupon. Sometimes you’ll even find a coupon for a free coupon book. When you’re dining have a look at the placemats and scan the area for free publications; information centers also have coupons, and details about concerts, promos, food specials and other casino events.

Publication Ink: Any time you decide to play a game of chance that has a skill component you should read up on the subject. It makes no sense to invest money when you’re totally in the dark. The best investments are for books, publications or software written by experts. I understand the internet is free but you need to be diligent and check out the credentials of the source. Once I read something on the net and kept thinking it sounded familiar but it was a bit out of sync. Eventually, I realized it was almost verbatim to something I had written long ago but the few “innovations” made it incorrect. One of the best values for your money is for software, especially for video poker games. Just make sure the program is tutorial and not simply entertainment.

Books: Nowadays you can get the kindle edition of many books that tell you how to play specific casino games. This is a good thing for players. You can read them on the way over or review them in your room. Whether it’s paperback or kindle they’re worth their weight in gold especially for newbies. Even if you’re a frequent player it makes no sense to play video poker if you’re guessing on every hold. Make sure the author is qualified to be writing about the topic by studying their biography information. Also, make sure you look for valuable extras. Steve Bourie’s “American Casino Guide” is a book of coupons and discounts as well as stories by gaming experts — you’ll save more than you paid for the book after one visit to Vegas. My book includes free strategy cards as well as removable pay schedules, worth around $100.

Magazines: Just like with books, magazines give you the opportunity to read the advice of experts. You’ll usually not only see who wrote the piece, but also be able to view their qualifications. If the publication doesn’t list both the author and their credentials then don’t count on it being accurate. There’s a magazine in Arizona that didn’t give the name of the writer or their background, but was telling people how to play casino games involving skill. Much of what was written was flat out incorrect. If the staff is highly qualified it’s definitely worth the subscription price. Keep in mind that writers are not privy to who’s advertising and even if they were, they don’t get paid by casinos or game manufacturers; their expertise will be served straight up.

Verbal “Ink”: Like the saying goes, opinions are like another part of the anatomy, everybody’s got one. To be sure specific statements from local players are invaluable because they are black or white. If, for example, you’re told they have full pay deuces wild upstairs you can march over and check. However, if it sounds a little off-the-wall then it probably is. They may tell you your machine deals a lot of aces or quads and you should simply say thanks and ignore the statement. If you suspect they’re a local then strike up a conversation and by all means ask if they know of any good promotions or games.

Tutorial Ink: I consider instructional software and strategy cards to be vital tools for all games with a skill component. You should be extremely selective when choosing tutorial products.

Strategy Cards: Whether it’s video poker or blackjack, using the correct strategy is critical to maximizing long run outcomes. I understand that anything is possible for the short run, but not over time. So what’s the long run? For video poker it means four or five royal flush cycles. (A royal flush occurs on average once every 40,000 hands.) The more hours you play, the closer your results will resemble theoretical expectations. All of these statements assume computer perfect play. You can bring video poker strategy cards with you because so few actually work. They must be user-friendly and accurate. (Mine are and they’re free in the back of my book, “The Video Poker Edge”.)

Software: There are several good tutorial software programs on the market today. The best, in my opinion, is WinPoker by Dean Zamzow. (www.videopokerpractice.com) That’s because it’s 100% accurate (some admit to not being perfect due to the number of possible hand combinations after the deal) and others have major glitches. Zamzow’s program not only has all the whistles and bells that make it fun but includes several modes of instruction as options.

As a former math teacher I know some people learn better one way than another. For example, you can have the program show you the correct holds after each deal or you can choose to determine the correct holds and have the program correct errors. There are other options but you can understand the concept. Just like with video poker strategy cards, each game has its own computer-correct holds.

Final Thoughts: My friend was correct to say it’s foolish to mess with people who buy ink by the barrel. Even somebody as powerful as Oprah Winfrey found out that annoying a biographer is not such a good idea. (For those who don’t know, Kitty Kelly wrote an unflattering biography about the “Big O” and may have been influenced by the cold reception she got when appearing on Oprah’s talk show in the early years.) I consider games with a skill component to be the best gambling choices. Even if all the options have a big house advantage, like BJ games where the dealer hits a soft 17 (good for the casino but bad for the player) or has a continuous shuffling device (counting cards becomes obsolete once the hand has ended) are better than being blind-sided by the unknown. If you avoid anything in print because you assume it’s all biased you’ll miss out on great offers. You just have to follow your mom’s sage advice and use the brains you were born with to separate the wheat from the chaff. Reading magazines, books, billboards and all the ink in sight is absolutely a critical key to getting the best odds possible before placing a wager.

— Linda Boyd, a long-time table game player before turning to video poker, writes for many gaming publications. Her book, The Video Poker Edge, includes free removable pay schedules and her free strategy cards for the most popular games. The 2010 Second Edition is now available at amazon.com, bookstores or www.squareonepublishers.com. Kindle edition available.